Read your book. It's beautifully written. Do you feel like he WANTED you to be mortified and disapproving, so it would deepen his victim status and give him something to complain about? Make you the bad guy and him the poor tortured oppressed soul?
I was recently at a trans speak-out where a nonbinary-identified person spoke of being stared at in public - rarely head-on, but when passers-by thought they could do so discreetly. I'm tender-hearted, and I couldn't help but feel sympathy. But I could help but think: What else can be expected when you deliberately send visual signals that scramble people's schemas? Evolution has made sex salient to us for numerous reasons, not just reproduction. Even the politest soul will do a double-take when meeting a person who's 5'4" with size DDDD breasts and a ZZ Top beard.
I think that a lot of males feel trapped and blinded by a sense of envy because they are out of touch and still see "being a girl/woman" through rose colored eyes, so they're not thinking of stuff like Mahsa Amini's brutal hijab punishment or when little girls get sent home from school for having "inappropriate exposed shoulders" (spaghetti straps), or when butch lesbians get r*ped and beat up for "acting like men" or being detectable "filthy d*kes".... Their mind just focus on the women who are complimented, who are seen as cute or as sexy, they focus on how women can wear pants and is seen as unremarkable. When people in public spheres react negatively to the males sartorial/self-grooming proclivities or effeminacy they get caught into the "if i was a woman everything would be fine, if i was a woman this would not happen to me, why couldn't i just be a woman??" spiral.
It's easier to notice when observing a lot of them do not envision being ugly women when fantasizing about being "stealth" nor when fantasizing about being "reborn as cis women" or "having a girlhood". After all, what's the guarantee that if they had been born female they'd be the type they envision?? What if they were the female equivalent of the Elephant Man?
Of course, in order to gain healthy grounding they'd have to be trully willing to step back and listen, and unfortunately, many are not.
I have a friend (a dear friend, I'm not trying to go after her!) who once posted something on Facebook to the effect of "I took out my nose piercing, and WOW people are treating me way differently, which tells you ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW about society."
Kudos to me, I guess, for holding my tongue and not starting an internet slap-fight with someone I usually like a lot, but all I could think was, "Isn't the *whole point* of changing your appearance to change how people interpret and react to you?" If not...why bother?
Read your book. It's beautifully written. Do you feel like he WANTED you to be mortified and disapproving, so it would deepen his victim status and give him something to complain about? Make you the bad guy and him the poor tortured oppressed soul?
Thank you so much!
Honestly, I have no idea what he wanted. Probably? It was all so crazy.
I was recently at a trans speak-out where a nonbinary-identified person spoke of being stared at in public - rarely head-on, but when passers-by thought they could do so discreetly. I'm tender-hearted, and I couldn't help but feel sympathy. But I could help but think: What else can be expected when you deliberately send visual signals that scramble people's schemas? Evolution has made sex salient to us for numerous reasons, not just reproduction. Even the politest soul will do a double-take when meeting a person who's 5'4" with size DDDD breasts and a ZZ Top beard.
I think that a lot of males feel trapped and blinded by a sense of envy because they are out of touch and still see "being a girl/woman" through rose colored eyes, so they're not thinking of stuff like Mahsa Amini's brutal hijab punishment or when little girls get sent home from school for having "inappropriate exposed shoulders" (spaghetti straps), or when butch lesbians get r*ped and beat up for "acting like men" or being detectable "filthy d*kes".... Their mind just focus on the women who are complimented, who are seen as cute or as sexy, they focus on how women can wear pants and is seen as unremarkable. When people in public spheres react negatively to the males sartorial/self-grooming proclivities or effeminacy they get caught into the "if i was a woman everything would be fine, if i was a woman this would not happen to me, why couldn't i just be a woman??" spiral.
It's easier to notice when observing a lot of them do not envision being ugly women when fantasizing about being "stealth" nor when fantasizing about being "reborn as cis women" or "having a girlhood". After all, what's the guarantee that if they had been born female they'd be the type they envision?? What if they were the female equivalent of the Elephant Man?
Of course, in order to gain healthy grounding they'd have to be trully willing to step back and listen, and unfortunately, many are not.
I have a friend (a dear friend, I'm not trying to go after her!) who once posted something on Facebook to the effect of "I took out my nose piercing, and WOW people are treating me way differently, which tells you ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW about society."
Kudos to me, I guess, for holding my tongue and not starting an internet slap-fight with someone I usually like a lot, but all I could think was, "Isn't the *whole point* of changing your appearance to change how people interpret and react to you?" If not...why bother?
I keep thinking about this. It's like: hoo boy you sure do end up on the fringe when you... try to be on the fringe
I read everything you write! Always thought provoking, but truly I struggle to keep up with your intellect! Thanks for writing!
Oh goodness, you flatter me. Thanks for continuing to hang out!
That's amazing! Thanks for telling me. I'll go check yours out!
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IKR, some will undoubtedly be expecting something else. Clickbait, but that really was the writing prompt.