Thanks, Shannon. The idea of "the tyranny of the easily offended" hit me recently. How much time do we spend avoiding offending the easily offended person simply because we don't have the bandwidth to deal with them?
I agree, I try to practice gratitude and I think it does help give me more perspective. Conversely, I try to guard against the sense that others should be grateful to *me* for things I do, or that I am *owed* their gratitude. I think this sense of entitlement is a sneaky manifestation of the sin of pride, and it induces a troubled state of mind.
Speaking of pride, I've been thinking about this quote from "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis a lot lately: "The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit: and the virtue opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility. [...] According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind."
Why do you think pride was chosen as the worst? And are there different kinds of pride? Do you think it's problematic for someone to be proud of, say, getting their bachelor's degree--especially if they found it really difficult to get through it? I always found it a bit odd that this was named as a sin, as being proud of your accomplishments is part of striving to be a better person.
At the same time, I would agree that "pride" isn't really the best descriptor of how one should feel about being gay or bisexual. It's neutral, at best, like being left-handed, especially if you think it's inherent or immutable. But I kind of understand why those once steeped in shame about it would reach for the opposite emotion.
Sure, I thought you might have questions about that, and wondered if I should have expanded more in the original comment. 😅 It took me a really long time to understand why pride was considered a sin. I was raised in a devoutly Catholic family, and stopped believing or practicing when I was about fifteen. As an atheist teenager and early twenty-something, I took Lucifer's side of that particular struggle.
Yes, there are different kinds and degrees of pride. There is a difference between something like being proud of getting your bachelor's degree after years of struggle, and what Lewis was talking about. (I'll certainly be proud of my husband when he eventually gets his BA, as by that point he'll have been working on it for well over a decade. 😜) Having healthy self-esteem, being proud of your family, taking pride in a job well done - these aren't the problem, though we might use the word "pride" for them.
It might not be the best one, but the definition I've come up with and generally use for the dangerous sort of pride is "the aggrandizement of the self." In that chapter, Lewis continues, "Now what you want to get clear is that Pride is essentially competitive – is competitive by its very nature – while the other vices are competitive only, so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If someone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest."
Pride sets us against and apart from each other in a way that other vices do not. From Lewis again, "Other vices may sometimes bring people together: you may find good fellowship and jokes and friendliness among drunken people or unchaste people. But pride always means enmity — it is enmity." Pride takes everything personally. "Look, I stopped to let you past - why aren't you thanking me?" Pride expects gratitude, but is not grateful. Pride does not extend the principle of charity. Pride is easily offended. Pride is convinced of its own righteousness. Pride speaks, but does not listen; hears, but does not comprehend. Why would it? What could you possibly have to say to Pride that might make a difference?
Of course, it requires discernment, or wisdom, to distinguish between these things, and our culture currently denigrates wisdom. (The joke that popped into my head is, "Wis-dom? What is that, some kind of kink thing?")
And I agree, it is understandable that someone feeling ashamed of themselves would reach for pride as an antidote! We got where we are now by people taking steps that seemed reasonable in the moment. But as someone looking out at the state of things, who does have a bit of a superstitious belief in nominative determinism (I am a terrible atheist, obviously 😝), I've just been like, "Oh right - pride is considered a sin, isn't it? And not only that, but it's usually considered the worst one? Well, shit."
Remember reading Lewis' "Screwtape Letters" -- "[addressed] Christian theological issues, primarily those to do with temptation and resistance to it". Thought it rather "stark", but also thought it was based on some useful, if less than flattering insights into human nature. Kind of the nature of the beast.
But "happy pride" indeed. As Shannon has just suggested, some reason to think that the tail is now wagging the dog, that too many are making a virtue of a necessity -- at best.
"Being offended"; "playing the victim": a sad commentary on the current zeitgeist.
As Jonathan Rauch once put it:
JR: “Those who claim to be hurt by words must be led to expect nothing as compensation. Otherwise, once they learn they can get something by claiming to be hurt, they will go into the business of being offended.”
And a somewhat more pithy response from Stephen Fry:
“It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."
Thanks, Shannon. The idea of "the tyranny of the easily offended" hit me recently. How much time do we spend avoiding offending the easily offended person simply because we don't have the bandwidth to deal with them?
I agree, I try to practice gratitude and I think it does help give me more perspective. Conversely, I try to guard against the sense that others should be grateful to *me* for things I do, or that I am *owed* their gratitude. I think this sense of entitlement is a sneaky manifestation of the sin of pride, and it induces a troubled state of mind.
Speaking of pride, I've been thinking about this quote from "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis a lot lately: "The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit: and the virtue opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility. [...] According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind."
Happy Pride Month, everyone!
Why do you think pride was chosen as the worst? And are there different kinds of pride? Do you think it's problematic for someone to be proud of, say, getting their bachelor's degree--especially if they found it really difficult to get through it? I always found it a bit odd that this was named as a sin, as being proud of your accomplishments is part of striving to be a better person.
At the same time, I would agree that "pride" isn't really the best descriptor of how one should feel about being gay or bisexual. It's neutral, at best, like being left-handed, especially if you think it's inherent or immutable. But I kind of understand why those once steeped in shame about it would reach for the opposite emotion.
Sure, I thought you might have questions about that, and wondered if I should have expanded more in the original comment. 😅 It took me a really long time to understand why pride was considered a sin. I was raised in a devoutly Catholic family, and stopped believing or practicing when I was about fifteen. As an atheist teenager and early twenty-something, I took Lucifer's side of that particular struggle.
Yes, there are different kinds and degrees of pride. There is a difference between something like being proud of getting your bachelor's degree after years of struggle, and what Lewis was talking about. (I'll certainly be proud of my husband when he eventually gets his BA, as by that point he'll have been working on it for well over a decade. 😜) Having healthy self-esteem, being proud of your family, taking pride in a job well done - these aren't the problem, though we might use the word "pride" for them.
It might not be the best one, but the definition I've come up with and generally use for the dangerous sort of pride is "the aggrandizement of the self." In that chapter, Lewis continues, "Now what you want to get clear is that Pride is essentially competitive – is competitive by its very nature – while the other vices are competitive only, so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If someone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest."
Pride sets us against and apart from each other in a way that other vices do not. From Lewis again, "Other vices may sometimes bring people together: you may find good fellowship and jokes and friendliness among drunken people or unchaste people. But pride always means enmity — it is enmity." Pride takes everything personally. "Look, I stopped to let you past - why aren't you thanking me?" Pride expects gratitude, but is not grateful. Pride does not extend the principle of charity. Pride is easily offended. Pride is convinced of its own righteousness. Pride speaks, but does not listen; hears, but does not comprehend. Why would it? What could you possibly have to say to Pride that might make a difference?
Of course, it requires discernment, or wisdom, to distinguish between these things, and our culture currently denigrates wisdom. (The joke that popped into my head is, "Wis-dom? What is that, some kind of kink thing?")
And I agree, it is understandable that someone feeling ashamed of themselves would reach for pride as an antidote! We got where we are now by people taking steps that seemed reasonable in the moment. But as someone looking out at the state of things, who does have a bit of a superstitious belief in nominative determinism (I am a terrible atheist, obviously 😝), I've just been like, "Oh right - pride is considered a sin, isn't it? And not only that, but it's usually considered the worst one? Well, shit."
I love this line from the Avett Brothers' Song, "The Perfect Space":
"I wanna have pride like my mother has,
And not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad."
I think it succinctly captures what you're getting at.
Yes, exactly!
Remember reading Lewis' "Screwtape Letters" -- "[addressed] Christian theological issues, primarily those to do with temptation and resistance to it". Thought it rather "stark", but also thought it was based on some useful, if less than flattering insights into human nature. Kind of the nature of the beast.
But "happy pride" indeed. As Shannon has just suggested, some reason to think that the tail is now wagging the dog, that too many are making a virtue of a necessity -- at best.
I’m not really sure pride is a sin unless the things you take pride are just that.
"Being offended"; "playing the victim": a sad commentary on the current zeitgeist.
As Jonathan Rauch once put it:
JR: “Those who claim to be hurt by words must be led to expect nothing as compensation. Otherwise, once they learn they can get something by claiming to be hurt, they will go into the business of being offended.”
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/5539805-those-who-claim-to-be-hurt-by-words-must-be
And a somewhat more pithy response from Stephen Fry:
“It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/706825-it-s-now-very-common-to-hear-people-say-i-m-rather